taut red orbs
warm in my hands
ripe tomatoes
Tanka
I watch her skating
Solo for the first time
Tears of pride mix
With tears of vague regret
That well from a future place
Strauss
15th May 2007
This weeks theme, at One Deep Breath, was Nurture.
Poems by me..... the sometimes poet
Tanka
I watch her skating
Solo for the first time
Tears of pride mix
With tears of vague regret
That well from a future place
Strauss
15th May 2007
This weeks theme, at One Deep Breath, was Nurture.
7 comments:
Strauss, you did an amazing job here. "Taut red orbs" and the emotion in your Tanka was really a pleasure to read.
You had my mouth craving for some tomatoes. Great tanka, enjoyed the read.
Both are beautiful.
I love the ripe tomatoes in your haiku and the emotion in your tanka - excellent!
"taut red orbs" is a wonderful line!
And your second haiku brought a lump to my throat...beautiful!
So perfectly described and enticing, your first. Your tanka? So easy for me to relate. I love your tanka's last line.
nice ones
i do think you need to drop the capitalized letters at the beginning of lines.
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